Welcome Back, Alleged Professional

The locker contains a hoodie with an unfamiliar logo, a pair of sweatpants in a size that is more recommendation than fact, and a single sock. You achieve something that, from a distance, might pass for dressed.

As you pull the hoodie over your head, a wall screen crackles to life. A cheerful voice announces, “Good morning, valued operative of…“ followed by a burst of static where the company name should be. The logo in the corner is just a spinning progress wheel.

A big button appears on the screen: MANDATORY ORIENTATION. There is also a tiny link underneath it: "skip, i basically know what i am doing".

Be a grown‑up. Tap MANDATORY ORIENTATION. Tap the tiny skip link with the focus and precision of a senior engineer avoiding training. Look for the power cable. Nothing bad has ever come from unplugging something labelled IMPORTANT.
Or lie back down on the slab and see if ignoring problems makes them go away.